The Quiet Warrior Podcast with Serena Low

99. Breaking the Invisible Boxes We Inherit with Betsy Pepine

• Serena Low, Introvert Coach for Quiet Achievers and Quiet Warriors

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Serena speaks with Betsy Pepine, a best-selling author, speaker, and founder of Pepine Realty, one of the Inc. 5000 Fastest-Growing Private Companies in the USA. Betsy shares her journey from being the “black sheep” in a family of physicians to building a thriving real estate empire — and how embracing her introversion became a superpower rather than a setback.
She also opens up about breaking free from family expectations, the courage to choose authenticity over approval, and how her philosophy of “who, not how” helps her lead and scale as an introverted CEO.


Key Takeaways

  • Breaking the Boxes We Inherit 

Betsy explores how invisible “boxes” — from family, gender, and culture — shape who we think we’re supposed to be, and how freeing ourselves from them can open the door to real purpose and joy.

  • Redefining Introversion

Discover how reading Quiet by Susan Cain helped Betsy see introversion not as a weakness, but as a strength rooted in self-awareness and energy management.

  • Boundaries and Authentic Leadership

Betsy shares how honoring her need for downtime has made her a more effective leader — and how setting clear boundaries gives permission for her team to do the same.

  • From Corporate Layoff to Entrepreneurial Success

Learn how a layoff and a divorce became the catalysts that propelled Betsy into entrepreneurship and eventually toward national recognition in the real estate industry.

  • Introverts in Sales

Contrary to popular belief, introverts can thrive in sales. Betsy explains how empathy, deep listening, and genuine connection are what make clients trust and return.

  • Building a Business That Honors Your Energy

Betsy shares her “Who, Not How” philosophy — focusing on what you do best and delegating what drains your energy. For early-stage entrepreneurs, she offers creative ways to build support, from bartering to joining mastermind groups.


Memorable Quotes

“When you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else. If I said yes to being a physician, I was saying no to me.” — Betsy Pepine


“Introverts are not less than — we just derive energy from within.” — Betsy Pepine


“If we’re not going to stand up for ourselves, how can we expect others to?” — Betsy Pepine


“Embrace where you are on the spectrum — honor it, and set boundaries so you can operate at your best.” — Betsy Pepine


Connect with Betsy Pepine
Website: betsypepine.com
Social Media: @betsypepine on all major platforms
Book: Breaking Boxes — available via her website


Join The Visible Introvert newsletter for weekly reflections and resources curated specially for introverts and quiet achievers

This episode was edited by Aura House Productions

SPEAKER_00:

Hi, I'm Serena Do. If you're used to hearing that introverts are shy, anxious, antisocial, and lack of good communication and leadership skills, then this podcast is for you. You're about to fall in love with a calm, introspective, and profound person that you are. Discover what's fun, unique, and powerful about being an introvert and how to make the elegant transition from quiet achiever to quiet warrior in your life and work, anytime you want, in more ways than you imagined possible. Welcome. Hello and welcome to the Quiet Warrior Podcast. My guest today is Betsy Pepine, a best-selling author, speaker, and serial entrepreneur in real estate. A brokerage Pepine Reality has been named as an Inc. 5000 fastest growing private company in the USA multiple times and has earned spots on the top 50 Florida companies to watch and Florida Trend Best Companies to Work for Liz. Additionally, the Wall Street Journal has consistently recognized Betsy's real estate team as one of the top-producing real estate companies in the United States. Betsy also owns a title company, real estate school, and property management brokerage. Passionate about helping at-risk families with children, Betsy founded Epine Gives, a foundation that helps families facing housing insecurity. Welcome Betsy to the Quiet Warrior Podcast. Oh, thank you so much for having me. Betsy, what was it like for you growing up? And were there certain expectations of what you should be?

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, yes. I grew up in a family of uh I have two sisters that are older. Um and yes, my father is a physician and um wanted the best for us and felt that that would be the best um occupation for us. And so there was definitely an expectation that my sisters and I follow him in his footsteps and go to medical school and become a physician like him. And so we grew up. Uh, he would just we would tag along with him and volunteer at the hospital with his colleagues and help on his clinical trials. And um, we were all pre-med in college, and so there was definitely a um an expectation that that was going to be our path. And and um they set it up for my parents, you know, set it up for us so that we could do that if that was what we wanted to do.

SPEAKER_00:

And what did you decide to do?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I think I was labeled the black sheep of the family because I decided not to pursue that path. And um that was that created a lot of heartache in my family. Um, in junior year in college, I let them know that I was going to deviate from what my sisters were doing and get myself out of the pre-med track and into the business track at my college. And so then I graduated from college. I worked for two years, and then I went back to get my um MBA and um ironically graduated the same year getting my MBA as my sister did medical school. And um we all attended her graduation, not mine, because it was just it was because it was the same day. And so it was just that's where my family um, you know, that's where my family's heart was. And so um they became physicians, they married physicians, and then I went, I actually I spent 10 years in the pharmaceutical industry, I think, to kind of placate that pressure that I felt to be in healthcare. And then through a series of life events, just kind of took um stock of my life and said, you know what, this is not really what I want to be doing. What, you know, and and I just felt like it was a sign that I had got laid off from the job that I was in. I was in a um, I was in a corporate headquarters of a biotech company and they laid off the entire commercial division because our product did not get FDA approval. And I just took that as a sign that, hey, this this may not be your right path. I wasn't happy in the industry. And that's when I pivoted 20 years ago into real estate.

SPEAKER_00:

And it's intriguing because you've from an early age noticed that you were drawn more towards the business side of things, building things up. How do things work? Yeah, how do companies work? What is it about entrepreneurship and the business path and real estate that you love?

SPEAKER_02:

I just have always, I mean, since I was little, I always was intrigued that be being able to create value that somebody would exchange hard-earned money for. That was just like it set me on a high. I just remember even when I was doing yard work for my neighbors, when I was, you know, that's how I earned my money is do you doing yard work, just creating a service that they felt was valuable enough. And that's how it started. And then in the fourth grade, I convinced the teacher to start like, let us make these fuzzy pencils. And we sold fuzzy pencils to the entire elementary school. And then we took our class to um Bush Gardens, which is a theme park in Florida, with the proceeds that we sold. Like I've always just been fascinated about creating value. Um and that just that just keeps me afloat, you know, that really gets me going. And so anywhere that I see these gaps where there's there's a gap in either a product or a service, and and I could think of a way to fill that gap, it was it's just, you know, it's like a natural high for me.

SPEAKER_00:

It's so interesting when we look back and start connecting the dots to see that even from an early age there were signs and there was something pointing you in a certain direction.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So I'm also curious to know in terms of the introversion, extroversion spectrum, where do you sit?

SPEAKER_02:

So when I was in business school, they had us take the Myers Brig, which I had never done before. And um I was ISTJ. And I'm like, no, and I thought at the time that introversion was a bad thing, and it was really upsetting to me when I did that. So I asked the professor if I could take it again. I took the test again, and I was still ISTJ. Um, and that was when I was 23 or 24, and it wasn't until about 10 years ago when I read the book Quiet by Susan Kane did I change my views on introversion and extroversion. I really came to understand it so much better and embraced it, and it was so liberating to accept it and not feel like I was I was less than. I think you know in America culture, in American culture, and I don't know where it how it is in Australia, but I think I was reading where two-thirds to three-fourths of people are extroverts. And I always assumed, well, that means that that's that's the better, you know, that I kind of equated um a hierarchy to that. Um, but anyway, reading that book, and then that caused me to read other things about introversion and extroversion and really understanding that it just means from where do you derive your energy? And that is absolutely hands down, I derive my energy from within. I do not derive energy from other people. Um, and so when it when it was framed like that, it it made a lot more sense to me. Um, because I never can not that it's not that this is bad either, but I I think in the past I would consider, I would used to think of that term as being almost like a wallflower, where somebody's who's very, very passive, doesn't can't speak their, can't defend themselves, can't speak their opinions. You know, that's kind of what I viewed as introversion. And I never thought that was consistent with who I thought I was. Um and I think that introverts are definitely misunderstood a lot in our in our society. Um and they're also, you know, even in my in my profession in real estate, there are there's still this um these groups where they they try to convince you that you don't need your downtime, you know, that they they don't they don't honor that. They think that that's you know, I go to these meetings and the meetings will, you know, these these meetings, these national meetings, and they'll they'll start at 8 a.m. They'll go to 5 p.m. Then there's an evening dinner, and then there's evening entertainment. And and it's I can't I used to do everything. I used because I used to feel guilty if I didn't do and participate in all the activities. And then when I became liberated and honored what I needed, now it's like, no, I'm not, I'm I'm breaking for lunch, I don't do the group lunch. I don't, I for me, I know my my limits, I don't do evening activities because I know that I can't, I just I I get so drained. And so now I put very strict boundaries on what I know that I can um comfortably participate in and still feel energized. And I'm not shy about telling people no, because I used to have to feel like oh, I've got to make an excuse, like, oh, I'm going out to dinner with a friend, I can't make it tonight, you know. No, I'm I'm going to my room because I need downtime. And and I will tell people that now, whereas years ago I would never admit that to people. So that's kind of how I am an introvert, and now I'm a proud introvert.

SPEAKER_01:

Um yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

That is going to be a huge relief for anyone listening who is in a similar space of an industry where they have to be talking to people all the time, making those sales calls, you know, things that are outward-facing, which are necessary activities for the business and for their own career. And then feeling, oh, if I don't go for this and if I don't go for that, if I turn down these invitations, if I say I'm tired or I need my downtime, they're gonna think I look, you know, that I'm not trying my best, or I'm making excuses, I'm not being a team player, you know, I'm not going all out. There is so much guilt, and you mentioned that word, which is an important one to flag. Like who decided that it's a good idea to be switched on 24-7.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. No, early in the morning.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And I think I think in some other cultures, introversion is respected. And but in other but in ours, I don't know that I could say that it is. I I just don't think it's understood. I don't think it's understood. Yes. You know, I think even parents do it. Like they get their kids, you know, they they don't want their kids, they want their kids to be social and have friends and be participatory. And I think some parents don't honor children, especially children, they know what they need. But I think we as parents can feel like we know what's better for them and push them when we don't need to push them. They know what they need, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

That probably is to do with what we've internalized ourselves as children and then grew up with. And so we think that's the way it's got to be.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Yeah. I would remember I I remember in high school, everybody went to the beach that's near us for spring break, and they would go for a week and they would rent condos. And so my sister and I have a twin sister, and we're both introverts. And so we went one year and we came back three days early because we were just so drained. And my mother was like heartbroken, like, why did you come back? And you could tell from her reaction, she felt like not that we were a failure, but something must be wrong with us if we didn't want to stay. This is where everyone wants to go and hang out and party and be with all their friends. And we just like, no, we don't want to do that. And I remember having to explain it to her, and I don't think she really understood it at the time. Um so yeah, I think it's just so important to um to listen to our needs and be okay with them.

SPEAKER_00:

And I think because you are so clear and so explicit about your boundaries, I think it gives it's a positive role modeling for those who work with you as well. The younger, the more junior members, maybe people who are a bit less confident, or because they are not the business owner, they think they don't have a choice and they have to attend all the things. But to hear you as the business owner, as the boss saying that I need my downtime, I think that gives them permission to feel the same way.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Yeah, I hope so. I hope so.

SPEAKER_00:

So you've written a book called Breaking Boxes. What are these boxes in? Can you tell us more about this book? Why did you write it?

SPEAKER_02:

So the boxes are these metaphorical boxes that we find ourselves in. So it could be the family of origin box, you know, being born into any family system, there are expectations of you. There just are. I mean, it's just inherent. So whether it's like in my family where there was an expectation for me to be a physician, maybe there's an expectation for you to be Jewish, you know, I mean, as a religion. Or um, you know, I talked to one gentleman, and the expectation was if you had a son, you named him John. The firstborn son is always named John. Um, every family has has different expectations and and um opinions that um are weighed on you, I think, when you're in that system. But it could be the gender box, you know, that's a huge one. Um, and it starts even before we're born, you know, parents getting excited when they find out the gen the sex of their baby. And I I think that's that's just something that I thought was so in, so I still don't understand it. Like the whole gender reveal that that didn't exist with my children were born, my children are in their mid-20s, but it's like just the fact that we are ecstatic over one gender or the other suggests we are already putting some expectations on that child, and they're not even born yet. We have no idea what this child's gonna be like. Um, so it could be the gender box, it could be uh every you know, industry has their own box. You know, I remember um talking to a girlfriend of mine, and she had to leave early because she was going to a dinner party and she was explaining that she has a group of friends, and once a month they pick a different country, and everybody meets at a house and they they each cook an entree or an item that's representative of the country of the month, and then they bring wines from that country. And I was like, Oh, that sounds really fun. And I said, Who's hosting this month? And she said, Father John. And I'm like, you know, Father John, the the the priest at at Queen of Peace, and she's like, Yes. And I was like, really? Like I was like shocked, and I had to catch myself because it's like the only thing I know about Father John is his occupation, but I immediately assumed so many other things, which I have no idea if they're true or not. Clearly they're not, because I just assumed that priests don't join wine groups, you know, and rotate houses once a month with a group of group in the community. So, I mean, there's boxes are everywhere. And yeah, not all boxes are bad, and and and some boxes serve us at certain times in our life. I mean, boxes are meant to protect us, keep us safe. We know what to expect when we're in our family of origin box. We know the expectations, it there's a safety there. Um, but they can become very limiting um and confining. And that's what I felt like when I had this huge pressure to become a physician. I, you know, I just felt like I was going to explode because I didn't want to be a physician, but I knew that my standing in the family would just be very much demoted if I didn't pursue that route. So they can become um very confining for people. And that's when I think you have to identify what it is that's keeping you in the boxes that no longer serve you. Identify, you know, there's usually three or four basic fears, and then really address that fear and take baby steps to make um make it easier for you to exit a box that's no longer serving.

SPEAKER_00:

I imagine it would have taken a lot of courage to even have those conversations when asked, why did you choose differently, or why did you move away from you know that particular path that your family of origin has set for you? How did you respond when when people ask those questions?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it was it was probably one of the most honestly uh difficult decisions I've ever made in my life because going from the expectation of being a physician and and having the um good fortune of getting educated at the top schools to then choose a profession that only requires a GED or high school diploma and a week test online. Like that was that was just my my parents couldn't even figure out why would I be choosing this. Um but I knew that's what made that's what made what made my heart sing. And it was it was like choosing, I was finally choosing me. And so that's why I did it. And it was very limit liberating, but it was very difficult because you know I didn't feel accepted in my family for a long time. Um, in fact, I didn't really feel accepted until until I kind of proved myself in real estate, you know. Um so that was very difficult. And and I really tried, I tried so hard to instill in my children to pursue what they love. From the day from day one, I always said, do whatever you what makes your heart sing, because I didn't want them to get the messaging that I had received. And I remember one, my one daughter, she had dreams of being a dancer, and I and I fully um helped, I mean, advocated for that because that's what she wanted. And then I remember I was having dinner at with my folks and with Maria too, my daughter, and my daughter told my folks that and my mother said, Well, you can't be that, you know, that's that's a hobby. What are you really gonna be? And I was so crushed that my daughter received that same message that I had received, you know. Um, and fortunately, my my daughter stuck to her guns and she did major in dance. Um, but yeah, it's just um, it's just I think it ends up being who are you gonna choose? You know, when you say no to when you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else. So if I was saying yes to being a physician, then I'm saying no to me. And that's that wasn't a trade-off I was willing to make. And I think for for a long time, because I I did start pre-med, I wasn't willing, I wasn't willing to have the courage to do that. But then it just came to a point where like I just can't keep living this life where I'm gonna be pursuing a career that I have no interest in.

SPEAKER_00:

I think that tension, that conflict, it does take a toll on you mentally, emotionally, at every level. And we may think, yes, you know, the the easier thing is why don't I just give it and go with the flow and just do what they want me to do, and then everybody will be happy and they will get off my back. But then, you know, at some point, as you pointed out, it's gonna be it comes down to choosing something else or someone else over yourself. And and what do we it becomes a kind of self-abandonment, doesn't it? A kind of self-betrayal. Yeah, it feels like that, it feels like we've compromised. We knew what was the thing that would make our hearts sing, but we didn't stand up for it, we didn't stand fiercely for it.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_02:

And if we're not gonna stick up for ourselves, how can we expect others to, right? You know, we have to be able to know deep within our souls that we will we will always stick up for ourselves. Um, but that's taken me a long time to get to.

SPEAKER_00:

A lot of work. I don't think anyone gets there overnight or very easily, especially when we because we've we love our families, we value what they think. It's part of our identity, it's part of that's that feeling of belonging that you mentioned, right? When you said making that choice made you feel demoted, made you feel that you no longer belong because you you're the one that's deviated. You've gone down your own path. And that makes other people question themselves and their choices. Like, why is she doing that? You know, should I be doing something else? Or it it makes everyone revise their position in the family, in the group.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Like something has changed in here. Am I supposed to move as well? Or can I just stay rooted here? Am I happy with that? And take and those sorts of self-reflection, they take time, but they also shake our sense of identity. And very few people are willing to go down that path and say, let me think about this. I I need to give myself room to ponder this a little more. What are the implications? And how far am I willing to go? And if I go all the way, what does it mean for my relationships? And what am I willing to give up?

SPEAKER_02:

So true. And I honestly, sadly, I don't think I would have made the pivot had it not been for being laid off. And then I was also um went through a sudden and rather unexpected divorce at the same time. So I think those two events were so life-changing for me that it just caused me to start questioning everything. And that's but I had that had those two events not happened, I'd probably still be in the healthcare industry.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Isn't that part of the mystery of life that that sometimes these wake-up calls on looking back seem to be the turning points? Yeah. And something necessary to shake us out of our yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

It it's true, and it's it's made me very uh resilient because now whenever something untoward happens, I know that it's there's something good gonna be coming from it. I do I can't see it right now, but I'm confident that there will be something good from this, you know. I love that perspective. Because you've already been through that twice.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, in the abyss, and you came out the other side. And something better resulted from it.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

So a a question about being an introvert as well as doing sales. How do you how do you navigate the sales process? How does being an introvert actually help you with making sales?

SPEAKER_02:

I yeah, I think it's an asset. I think that a lot of introverts are empathic and they listen because uh, I mean, just extroverts tend to talk more, introverts tend to listen more. And sales for for me, it's it's a relationship, it's not a transaction. And so I think introverts are very good at relationships, one-on-one, close relationships. You know, extroverts tend to have a lot of a lot more friends and acquaintances, but at a more superficial level. Introverts have a smaller number, it's just just generalization, but um, you know, a smaller number of friends, but higher quality friendships. Well, in your when you're in sales, that's what you need is these high-quality relationships. That's at least in real estate, that's what um, you know, we we always say work your sphere, work your network. And that's, you know, and you and you do that one-on-one. And so I think a lot of folks, we we have a lot of new agents come to us, and I think they're always shocked by tell them, listen, I'm probably the most introverted person you're ever going to meet. It doesn't mean mean you're not gonna do well in sales. Uh, in fact, you could probably thrive in sales. I think the other thing is is recognizing that there are so many different ways to be successful in sales. So you choose the tactics and strategies that work towards your personality type. So, you know, you're not gonna probably host, you know, buyer and seller seminars for the entire community, but you might you're gonna call your sphere one-on-one and have a conversation with them, you know. So you have to work within what makes you feel comfortable. And I and you can do that. There's so many ways to create those relationships, you can find a handful of ways that suit your attributes the best.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you. So it's about leading into your quiet strengths, knowing what you are better at doing, what comes naturally to you, what you're really good at. So, in your case, you mentioned one-to-one as opposed to hosting seminars. And I think the people on the other end, the the buyers, potential buyers, they would appreciate that attention that's exclusively for them. Because it could be intimidating for them too, this whole sales process. They have a lot of doubts, a lot of questions, they may not want to ask their questions openly. And having you all to themselves for a few minutes, you know, uh an hour, being able to ask those questions in confidence, I think that gives them a lot of that sense of trust.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Which is so important, isn't it, in a transaction.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, absolutely. And I think that um introverts may be a little better at um intuition and perceptions and reading the room and reading how somebody's feeling, and so then can respond more um personally to that person as well. And I think that will definitely help further the relationship along and build trust.

SPEAKER_00:

So as an introvert and a CEO, how do you manage those situations that are not necessarily in your genius zone? Things that you're you may be less comfortable doing, things that may take a lot of energy from you. How do you balance that out?

SPEAKER_02:

Um, well, I'm all about the who not how philosophy where you focus on your strengths and you hire out your weaknesses. Instead of trying to be everything to everybody, um identify what your unique abilities are, and then hire out those pieces that you either aren't good at or don't like to do. Um, because there's somebody out there who loves to do that and is good at that. So that's how I try to manage how how I you know use my genius, anybody everyone has genius, and leverage other people's as well.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm thinking of the listeners who are at the beginning stages of their business, who might be thinking, well, I don't have the budget to hire for my weaknesses at the moment, so I have to do everything myself. How did you manage that at a start?

SPEAKER_02:

Um well, at the very beginning, you know, I I understood, I prioritized, I had very little, very low budget. Um, and the one piece I knew that I was I could not do myself because tech like technically I didn't know the programs, was my own marketing. So my very first hire, before I had any agents working for me, was not an assistant, but it was a marketing um manager. And they did all of my marketing. And so just I think recognizing What's the most important piece that you really need? You know, usually you can figure out some way. There's so many. I have people that barter for things, barter for services and things like that. So there's ways you can overcome the budget. You know, we have, I mean, there's so many creative ways. You know, somebody wants, somebody always wants access to your audience or to your sphere. They're willing to pay for that. So create a newsletter and sell advertising. Like there's always ways to generate money to help you with the pieces that you're not good at. So I would just take an inventory of that and um prioritize what you need to outsource. Um, then other, I mean, if you cannot outsource, then I would absolutely join mastermind groups. You can do those online, you can do those in person, and also um identify some mentors that are are really good at where you're weak and watch what they do, see what they do, reach out to them. There's always people wanting to help you, um, especially people like you that are further along in their career. So, you know, for example, if you're a woman, there's woman, there's the national, I don't know what the official name is, but it's basically a national organization for female, female founders. Join that organization. There's so many women there that are so ahead of you that want to help those behind them come up. So whatever your niche is, find the group or industry that caters to that group. And then you will find mentors and um people that you can model.

SPEAKER_00:

That is wonderful advice. What is one final takeaway that you want our listeners, especially the introverts and acquired achievers, to take away from today's conversation?

SPEAKER_02:

Um, gosh, if I could, I wish I embraced my introversion at a much younger age. You know, I was in my mid-40s before I embraced it. And so I would just encourage everybody to embrace wherever you are in the spectrum of introversion or extroversion, but embrace it, honor it, um, and and set boundaries to so that you are operating at your best.

SPEAKER_00:

And what's the best way for people to connect with you and find out more?

SPEAKER_02:

Um, I'm all over social media. I'm on all the channels with my name, Betsy Papine, and then my website where you can um look at my book, you can look at my course, there's a free toolkit is my name, BetsyPapine.com.

SPEAKER_00:

Beautiful. We'll make sure to have all the links, especially the one to your book, in the show notes for our listeners. So thank you so much, Betsy Betsy Papine, for sharing your time and your wisdom with us today. My pleasure. Thank you. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to leave a five-star rating and review to help the Quiet Warrior Podcast reach more introverts and quiet achievers around the world. And for my recommended resources on how to thrive as an introvert, make sure you're subscribed to the Visible Introvert newsletter at serenaloe.com.au. See you on the next episode. I'm so grateful that you're here today. If you found this content valuable, please share it on your social media channels and subscribe to the show on your favorite listening platform. Together we can help more introverts thrive. To receive more uplifting content like this, connect with me on Instagram at Serenaloo Quiet Warrior Coach. Thank you for sharing your time and your energy with me. See you on the next episode.